life on a third shift schedule

It can be a pretty sad existence at times, like, say when you’re holding onto every last minute before they kick you out of the bookstore as it closes for the night, then you walk out to into the big lot and your car is the only one in sight and the only light you see is the reflection of the storefront on your car windows, the lights in the parking lot are already out. You have the next eight hours to yourself and you were just starting to wake up and feel human again.

new photo project

I commenced participation in a photography project last weekend that I really think will do wonders for my social skills on top of being a fantastic opportunity to practice something that really invigorates my spirit, photojournalism. The project originated from a group on flickr and for its participants its goal is to approach and photograph 100 people that are complete strangers and then provide some background for how you met this person and who they are. I’ve been wanting to start this for a few weeks now but have found myself in deeply entrenched paralysis when presented with great opportunities. It would have been perfect to start with the small Asian man who sketches (quite nicely) fashion model portraits from magazine ads at 2am in the southside coffee factory, or the downtrodden, flask-wielding wanderer that pulled up next to me like I was an old friend on a downtown bench illuminated by the festive lights and sounds emanating from the live jazz spot, or even that man dressed in the bull fighter’s outfit that I previously mentioned.

This last weekend I went to Knoxville with my brother and his wife to see Tom Waits perform. They knew about the project and, through my persuasion, my brother has actually started the project as well. I really wanted to capture my first stranger on this trip and knew that several opportunities would likely arise. Well, as we got into town, immediately there were intriguing potential subjects everywhere. There were the two very tall and attractive females outside of Starbucks and the super friendly barista behind the counter, there were the guys in the moving crew outside a residential property in downtown Knoxville, the bluegrass band and their attentive crowd in a store and even a photographer that asked about my Nikon. Each time I made up excuses not to pursue. When we eventually made our way into a letter press store/workshop, I couldn’t make anymore excuses. The place was amazing and everyone in the shop seemed incredibly interesting. As I was trying to figure out who I would approach I overheard a guy about my age say that he was from Iceland and was in town to see Mr. Waits. That was it. I told my brother and sister-in-law about my plans. Once again, I hesitated. The more I hesitated the harder it became to approach him. As he was starting to slip away, my sister-in-law stepped in and commented on his neon green headphones. I was able to take it from there.

It turned out to be a very pleasant experience and I was pretty happy with the result. As you can draw from this entry, I have a ways to go when it comes to engaging strangers or even acquaintances for that matter. I also lack a penchant for acting on opportunities when they present themselves at times and this project will force me to recognize opportunities and act on my impulses. My initial experience gave me renewed confidence and had cameras been allowed in the music venue I would have had my second contribution in the form of a friendly death metal singer/harpist with an angel’s vocal chords and her friend from Nashville, easy.

bucket of crabs

Several months ago, a guest on NPR brought up a term that struck a chord with me. The term is bucket of crabs. Basically, the story is that if you put a crab in a bucket by itself, it will most likely find its way out of the bucket, but if its in there with other crabs it will have a much more difficult time finding its way out because the others will be clawing at it as it tries to escape. Basically it means that in your life you might have people that are pulling you down, despite their intentions and whether they realize it or not. Their words and actions make it harder for you to rise up and improve your situation.

I am a very driven individual, individual being the keyword. A life of social norms has never really appealed to me. I’ve always wanted to make something of my life, not just perpetuate the cycle. In fact, for personal reasons, I’ve almost felt obligated to do so. In the past, I’ve often ran into resistance when bringing to light any dreams or plans for self-improvement. My plans to move away from the city where I have always resided have been met with bewilderment and resentment. “Why do you want to do that?” “What’s wrong with Indianapolis?” “You just want to get away from me.” My desire to pursue a career outside of the piece of paper I paid $20,000 for or to remove myself from the greed-laced cutthroat land of capitalism has been met with disapproval. “Go off and save humanity.” “If you do that you might as well throw that degree away.” Even my daily activities and decisions I make in an attempt to improve myself, like going to the gym or reading, are derided at times.

When I was brainstorming title ideas for this blog, Push Things Forward kept coming to mind. I felt like it was a phrase that best described where I’m at right now. I took the phrase from a song from The Streets titled “Let’s Push Things Forward”. While writing this entry I decided to listen to Original Pirate Material for the first time in years. I had it playing in the background when these lyrics from the song “Stay Positive” grabbed my attention.

Stop dreaming
People who say that are blaspheming
They’re doing nine to five and moaning
And they don’t want you succeeding when they’ve blown it
And your idols – who are they?
They too dreamt about their day
Positive steps will see your goals.

Of course, those in your life often have nobler, more innocent motives but you get the idea.

hello.

So, tonight I go out and buy Spanish for Dummies to brush up on what I learned ten years ago in high school. I guess I’m feeling a little guilty, now that I have moved on, for not taking full advantage of working with Spanish-speaking people for the last two and a half years. Anyways, after the purchase, I take the book to Starbucks and read the first chapter while slowly enjoying my tall whole caramel macchiato. (That’s culture around these parts.) Just minutes after moving on to breach my US Army Survival Manual, a man walks into the store brandishing bullfighter’s garb. Seriously, head to toe, completely authentic, bullfighter’s garb. I live in Indianapolis, Indiana. Indianapolis, Indiana! I was a bit worried of what would happen if I sat down the US Army Survival Manual.

DeVotchKa. If you are into music at all, well, if you like really good music and are open to much more than is presented in the mainstream, I would highly recommend this extremely talented band. They are a self-described melting pot of music. They mix a little polka with Spanish mariachi, adding a little gypsy vibe along the way with who knows what else. Such a fascinating mix of music applied. I was fortunate enough to take in one of their shows a couple weeks ago and was completely blown away. I felt like I had just made the transition from Fruity Pebbles to Oatmeal Raisin Crisp. Such an ethereal performance, full of life and spirit. The band that opened the show, Basia Bulet, was impressive as well. I don’t think I have ever witnessed a performer grab a crowd’s attention the way the lead singer did when she put on her opening solo performance. She just walked right up to the mic and started singing, clapping, and stomping. The room was full of conversation before she started and then, all at once, everyone stopped mid-sentence, turned their attention to the stage, and became completely transfixed. Fantastic. Her band sat in on several of DeVotchKa’s songs and blended in seamlessly as well.

This is my first real blog. I mean, yeah, I had what some would call a blog on MySpace, but I don’t think that counts at all. I’m not quite sure where I’m going to take this blog. I have strong interests in music, photography, social and political commentary, self-improvement, and a general search for truth and enlightenment. I take life seriously in a time when much is taken for granted. I feel like I’m entering a period of transitions, much like the world around me. Its time to push things forward.